Loving thoughts, or lack there of😕

So I've listened to this guided meditation three different times and each time I struggle to stay focused on her voice. 

I find my mind constantly thinking about this vacation that's coming up and all the things I need to get done for it and then I try to bring my thoughts back to the person I'm supposed to be thinking of (my boyfriend)  and say I love this person thinking thoughts of love and I struggled, so I even stopped the recording & looked through some of my fave pics if him to help me. Instead I felt annoyance & apathy. 

I think I realized that I don't want to be in this relationship after all!

Can I get a anyone's opinion on this

A: if love should be all giddy & butterflies in the stomach, at least at first?

B: how important is it to be attracted to the person?